One of my all-time favorite internet moments involves a mistaken text sent by Wanda Dench, a white grandmother of six in Mesa, AZ. The text message was originally meant for Wanda’s grandson to remind him that the Thanksgiving feast would kick off at her house at 3pm. But as fate would have it, she typed in the wrong number. Instead the message went to Jamal Hinton, a then 17-year-old black student who was between classes at his high school.
Hinton, not wanting to be rude, responded, “Who is this?” and Wanda’s reply was simply, “it’s your grandma.” Hinton was thoroughly confused, and asked for a picture to confirm that it was his grandmother that he was texting. Wanda sent a picture of herself, which obviously wasn’t who Jamal was expecting. But then, something truly serendipitous happened. Even though Wanda wasn’t his grandmother, Jamal asked if he could stop by for a plate of food.
Wanda replied immediately, “Of course you can. That’s what grandmas do..feed everyone!”
Jamal showed up on Thanksgiving, grabbed a plate, and became a member of the Dench family. But, here’s the best part of the whole story - Jamal just confirmed on Twitter that he’s going to Wanda’s house for Thanksgiving again this year, the sixth in a row. What makes that even more meaningful is that Wanda’s husband passed away from COVID-19 last year, and she needs family more than ever. Jamal is bringing his long term girlfriend to the festivities this year, too. Just imagine, that one random wrong number text has blessed all of their lives!
Pastors, I think we need to challenge our congregation to rethink Thanksgiving just a bit this year. While, obviously Christmas is a time that is squarely focused on family and the traditions that many of us have enjoyed for decades, Thanksgiving could be considered more low-key and inclusive in terms of who makes the guest list...and that includes neighbors.
If you look at the data from the GSS when it comes to socialization habits, there’s one trend line that’s hard to shake - people are just not spending social time with their neighbors anymore.
While time with family and even friends who don’t live in the neighborhood has been trending upwards over time, the evidence indicates that people are just not talking to the person living across the street or down the block anymore.
Maybe Thanksgiving is the perfect time to reverse that trend. It’s relatively easy to see when a family member is struggling, or even a close friend. Those bonds are strong enough that they often feel comfortable enough to discuss real issues. But, that’s not always the case when it comes to neighbors. More often than not it’s just a quick wave, or a two minute conversation on the sidewalk, but definitely not a deep connection.
But the data indicates that people are struggling now more than ever before. The General Social Survey has been asking people about their happiness since 1972. In a typical year about a third of respondents said they were very happy, and just 12% indicated they were not too happy. In 2021, just 20% said they were very happy and 24% responded that they were not too happy. That’s the first time in the history of the survey in which unhappy respondents outnumbered the very happy. People are struggling.
Maybe it’s time to encourage your congregation to turn this Thanksgiving into a holiday that celebrates neighbors. Often the hardest part is simply asking—many people make the mistake of assuming that people already have family to spend Thanksgiving with. Consider suggesting that your members invite two or three families on the block to come over and enjoy some food and conversation. Make sure they think about those without families, especially. The single mothers, the divorced dads, the recent widower who is struggling to adjust to their new life.
This year has been a hard year. Many people are suffering in silence. If the church wants to be the church, it can start by building a bigger table on Thanksgiving day (or by dusting off that old card table hanging in the garage). It could really mean the world to someone to have a plenty of delicious food and be surrounded by a wonderful conversation with people who are seeking to make connections. It certainly did that for Wanda Dench and Jamal Hinton.
